Only in my Dreams

I wrote in my last post that I have very terrifying nightmares. And it isn’t just my nightmares that are really vivid. I also have ridiculously realistic dreams – some that bring fleeting moments of bliss (until I come back to reality) and other that are just down right crazy (not crazy good or crazy bad, just crazy).

Way back in 2001 (gosh I was 21: so young and innocent!) I had a dream. Well I’ve had plenty of dreams before, and since, but this one was a truly special one. At least I thought so once upon a time.

One June night, I dreamed of my soul mate. Rather, he was the soul mate of the me in my dreams – I sure don’t know about real life because I never have met this guy.

It is said that we usually dream of people that we know. However, it was as though my mind had completely made him up – he didn’t look like anyone I’d ever seen before (or since). He didn’t even look like a mixture of people I know – he was a complete stranger.

Yet in my dream I knew everything about him without even asking. It was as though I could just feel it.

It was also in a bizarre setting I’d never seen, almost like a futuristic setting of a city that had several levels to it. I think it was some sort of open air mall or something. I was with my best friend when I saw some friends of ours on a lower level playing ping-pong, so we went downstairs to talk them.

The dream shifted slightly and I was sitting at a bar while my friends were still at the ping-pong table. I started to draw, I don’t know where I got the paper or pencils from, but I was drawing. Then dream soul mate came from seemingly nowhere and sat next to me, casually slinging an arm around my shoulder like we were best mates. He inspected the picture I had drawn.

“That’s pretty good.” He said and pull a folded piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it held it up to me, asking “What do you think of this?”

I was stunned to discover that he has drawn nearly the exact same picture as I had. I studied it for a minute and conceded that it was very well drawn. He folded his up his picture and tucked it away in his pocket. Moments of silence passed while we just looked at one another, intrigued but not uncomfortable.

“What did you think of THAT?” He finally asked with a gleam in his eyes. The confusion on my face was obvious as I cocked my head, eyebrows slightly raised.

“Think of WHAT?” I started to ask when he leaned forward and silenced me with a long and unhurried kiss. When he pulled back he smiled knowingly and chuckled “Of that.”

The me in my dreams was clearly rendered speechless by this kiss. Baffled by a guy who was a complete stranger (in the dream and in reality) and yet my heart instantly seemed to know him. I woke up gasping for air about three seconds later (alone of course) with the feeling of a kiss still lingering on my lips.

As I lay there replaying the dream I realised that, somewhere in between those moments of silence and the kiss, I had the distinct and unshakable impression he’d somehow told me we were soul mates. I also somehow understood that he’d come to meet me for a date that we’d set up the lifetime before, a date I had apparently forgotten until the moment he kissed me. What struck me as weird was that all of this information was conveyed to me without words – it’s was as though dream me just knew these things the minute he touched me.

I won’t lie, for years I held onto that dream in the hope that it was a foretelling of meeting the one I was meant to be with. I was convinced for a time that our hearts were joined as one and that someday he would step out of my dreams and into my reality. Maybe not in the exact way of my dream – but he’d be that person that I’d dreamed of and we’d connect in much the same way – heart to heart, with just one look, words not necessary.

Of course I know better, now.

Dreams are just electrical impulses that sometimes tell us story while we sleep and our brain and body replenish their cells. I don’t believe in serendipity, or fate, or destiny. This guy was just a figment of my over active imagination. But at least in my dreams I can find true love.

And if nothing else, it gives me great daydream material when I’m lying in bed feeling lost and alone.

One thought on “Only in my Dreams

  1. iamcayenne says:

    ….At least in my dreams I can find true love…..


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