Ugh My Meds are Killing my Creativity.

I’m 2 weeks into my increase in meds and one of the things I’m hating is how dopey they make me. They make me so sleepy, and tired during the day. It was really difficult waking up this morning to get the kids to school and me to work. In fact I overslept because I couldn’t open my eyes long enough. I’m never a morning person really, but the higher dosage makes me even more groggy.

The other thing it’s done, and I hate this the most – it’s put a block on my creativity. I can’t think properly now. I feel like my thoughts are just wandering aimlessly through a thick cloud of cotton wool. I can’t write creatively. This has put a serious hamper on my story I was working on for NaNoWriMo. All attempts at writing have failed miserably. I can’t write, I can’t draw, I can’t create and if this keeps up it’s going to send me into a tailspin of misery.

I do like the fact that I’m so chilled out right now, like really chilled. Nothing gets to me – I’m Sunday Morning. In that respect it’s awesome, it’s like smoking weed without the munchies (thank fuck!). But I just hate that it totally blocks any creative thoughts. I want to get into my brain and find that place, the one where I can create again.

Instead there is nothing. Nothing but the calm. I’d say fuck this, but seriously I’m way too chill to do that right now.

2 thoughts on “Ugh My Meds are Killing my Creativity.

  1. hazelnutpie says:

    I sort of have that problem with lamictal; I’ve been on it 3.5 years and I feel it puts me in a bit of a gray zone. I’m not able to feel or experience things the way I used to. I still am creative, just not in the way I used to be. It’s a different kind of creative, not quite as enjoyable but probably more profound. Maybe your situation will get better as your body further adjusts.

    Like

    • Karlee says:

      I don’t like taking higher doses of my meds because this always happens, but my psych said I needed it temporarily to help me through a stressful time.
      I know I need stability and calm right now, but it always upsets me when the price to pay for my sanity is my creativity.
      Hopefully I have enough knowledge and self control this time to not go off my meds.

      Like

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