Finding The Right Kind Of Help

One of the things I’ve found the most helpful in my road to living with mental illness is the importance of finding the right mental health professional. Over the years on and off I’ve seen numerous counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and sought help in many other ways. It started with a counsellor in high school and went from there.

Until the last 5 or so years ago, my attempts at getting help were sporadic and short lived. Previously I’d go through a really bad time – see my GP, get prescribed anti depressants and get referred to a counsellor or psychologist. I’d see the therapist for a few weeks, and get fed up with the way it was going, make excuses and stop going.

It was always the same thing that did it. These people all wanted to delve into my past – find some childhood or adolescent trauma that made me the way I am. Was I abused? Did I have a loving childhood? They always wanted to try and find the point of origin. And they always has some kind of condescending advice to give to help me “snap out of it” and tell me that things “will get better” all the usual bullshit people think you want to hear.

It wasn’t until I was at the end of my rope that I finally found my current psychiatrist. And my word has she been the best for me. She has helped me to see that there is no beginning cause to my mental illness to speak of and it’s pointless to try to look for one. I don’t need a why or a when – none of those are helpful. I just need a how and a what. How can I manage my mental illness? What can I do to make my life easier?

She doesn’t give me shitty useless advice – she helps me to unlock the answers I hold in my own mind. She asks me questions that help me draw my own conclusions. I have the control to change my life. She puts me firmly in the drivers seat, and just offers me a road map every now and again.

What I want to say to anyone who needs help coping with their mental illness is this: don’t give up on looking for the right person to help you. It mights take 5, 10, 15 different practitioners over as many years until you find the mental health professional that helps you in the way you need help. But don’t give up looking. If one doesn’t suit, move on to the next one, and the next, and the next, until you find the one that you click with and that genuinely helps you to help yourself.

Don’t stick with someone who doesn’t take a proper interest in your health, or you don’t feel comfortable with, or who gives you condescending advice, or you just don’t gel with. Keep looking until you find the one. It’s like a relationship – don’t settle for second best. Likewise with your mental health don’t settle for a sub par therapist.

I know costs can make finding the perfect help prohibitive, but keep looking until you find the one that is right for you and doesn’t make you bankrupt. Don’t give up. You are important, your mental wellbeing is important. You deserve to have a balanced and happy life.

Don’t ever give up.

5 thoughts on “Finding The Right Kind Of Help

  1. Carley says:

    I have had the very same problem. At one point when I had a really bad “episode” and ended up in hospital I had to see 9 different psychologists and psychiatrists didn’t gel with anyone of them. Then when I had round the clock home care a different counsellor, psychiatrist or psychologist would visit but I didn’t want to talk to them because they just felt sooooo…robotic like they were doing a job didn’t personally care about my health. I have CBT with different people too and I’d always stop going because either I didn’t like these people or I’d feel “normal” again and stop going. My current psychiatrist is discharging me and putting me on to CBT again with someone new I just hope it goes well this time. Love this post because I was thinking of actually just giving up but your right we should all press on because it’s important for us to take control of our illness xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karlee says:

      I know it’s not easy, but I am very glad you haven’t given up. It sucks when the professionals are so robotic and generic, but I’ve managed to find a diamond in the rough so I think there must be more out there! I wish you all the best and hope it goes well with the CBT.
      You are a beautiful person and you deserve happiness and wellness in your life.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. umekolwalker says:

    I am glad you found the right kind of help. Unfortunately, some professionals do not genuinely care about there patients. The next generation of psychologists and psychiatrists will be the same. They only care for themselves!
    I do understand why they would ask questions about your past. There always a reason for mental illness whether that be past experience or chemical imbalances in the brain. I hate that they gave you generic advice.

    I am glad you have found someone to take the time to understand who you are and what you need. I’m grateful for this post because some people are afraid to see other psychologists. You gave great advice. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karlee says:

      Thank you for commenting. I know establishing background is extremely important for mental health – but I had a few (I’m sure they were well meaning but terrible) professionals who were all but insistent that I suffered some kind of trauma. And they would use leading questions to try and force a response that they wanted. It wasn’t about me at all and that sucked.
      At one point I almost gave up on getting the help I needed. I’d resigned myself to living what was left of my life (which, back then, I honestly didn’t think was going to be very long) in a terrible state of mind.
      If just one other person can learn from my post and find the resolve to keep trying then I’ll be a very happy woman!


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